My dearest one - 14th Jan 1983 - 14th Jun 2008

I went through mental struggle to decide to do this post on someone whom left and is(still) very very dear to me, Rayner Lim Ruixiang. We were together in the same class in sec 1. We got very close over the years and I started calling him "Ah kor" and he called me "Ah mui". By the time we left our sec school, we were still very closed. Hes someone whom is more than a frd, more than a brother, and even more than a lover to me. Though we had never been a couple, but our relationship is better than any couple. No one could ever replace him in my heart.

He, whom I go to when Im happy, sad, angry.
He, whom the first one I called to when I need to talk or bitch.
He, whom I go out for supper with till wee hours.
He, whom walked with me during my lowest point of my life.
He, whom had the common opening sentence with me, "free?" and we knew tt either 1 of us needed to vent out.
He, whom answered my call in the middle of the night despite he already asleep to hear me cry my heart out.
He, whom willing to rush down to meet me despite the time whenever I need a shoulder to cry.
He, whom willing to be my "bf" when I needed someone to help me out.
He, whom shared all his great findings, games, videos etc with me.
He, whom always helped me to carry my heavy bag or shopping bag w/o me asking for help.
He, whom nv forget my bdae.
He, whom share my food when the portion was huge.
He, whom lend me his jacket when Im feeling cold.
He, whom could go shopping with me and not feeling bored, coz we can always find somethg for each other to try on.
He, whom could talked with me for hours and a couple times of a week w/o worrying topics run out.
He, whom bridal services liked to ask if we want to buy package whenever we walked pass a bridal shop.
He, whom joked with me tt when we aged n if we 2 still single, shall share a house and stay together so that we can take care of each other.
He, whom took care of me very well and will get angry if someone bullied me.
He, whom even though left the world already, came back to take care of me when Im having a fever while in ICU. I knew he came, coz I felt the warmth of his hands on my head n telling me to inform the nurse that my fever is gone. I woke up and still feeling his warm hands and my fever gone. He still worries bot me coz he said I nv know how to take care of myself.
He, whom came to my dreams last week telling me what he need and could even joke with me when I asked him, "Do u want orange color?" and he used his usual eye roll on me n replied, "Since when did u see me in Orange?" and he laughed. I woke up feeling comfort that he is doing well on the other world.

Weeks before the unfortunate day, he talked frequently about death to me especially after his frd in CO left the world. He said he hope to die w/o pain, best if in the sleep. Though Im very very sad that he left me, but I find comfort in the fact that he left the way he wanted, though I didnt want him to go.
He was sleeping when the accident happened and he left in his sleep.
I remembered the last wds he said to me before the accident, "Im tired.", and he slept forever. Rest well, my dear Ah Kor, hope you wont be feeling tired anymore and thanks for taking care of me still.